A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” ...
“Brown bears are usually harmless They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way. However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous If you see any grizzly bear droppings leave the area immediately.” “So how do we know if they’re grizzly bear droppings?” asks one ...
… for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day. The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.” Tommy replied, “Well, then just give me my money back That’s fine.” The farmer said, “Sorry, I can’t do that ...
A couple of weeks later she finally wakes up and asks the doctor, “Where is my baby?!” The doctor replies, “They are both fine, you have a beautiful boy and girl. Your husband went back to work and you were out so long that your brother named them.” The woman looked concerned, as her brother wasn’t the sharpest tool in ...
After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. The passenger screamed, “Look at the window There’s an old ghost’s face there!” The driver sped up, but the old man’s face stayed in the window. The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, “What do you ...
Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members ...
They ran out of food a couple of days ago, and ran out of water just today, so naturally they’re pretty desperate. Out on the water, one of them spies a genie’s lamp, and they both frantically paddle towards it. One of them pull out the lamp and rubs it, and lo and behold, a genie pops out! “Will ye ...
Paddy and murphy were watching a John Wayne movie: Paddy said to Murphy “I bet you €5 John Wayne falls off this horse and the horse goes over the cliff.” Murphy said “Ok Paddy.” So there they are, watching the film and John Wayne falls off the horse and the horse goes over the cliff. Paddy turns round to Murphy ...