A biker was riding along the beach when suddenly the sky formed clouds above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “You have been very faithful to me, so I will grant you one wish.” Stunned and confused, the biker pulled over, looked up, and said, “Build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over ...
During a visit to the local mental institute, John asked the Director during a tour how to determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “It’s simple actually,” said the Director. “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a Teaspoon, a Teacup and a Bucket to the patient. We ask him or her to empty the bathtub.” “Ohhhh, ...
A pirate walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. The bartender asked, “Gee you look awful, are you feeling okay?” “I feel fine, why do you ask?,” said the pirate. “Well your leg is half missing, you have a wooden peg leg!” “Arrr that happened a few years back, cannonball came right through the ship and took ...
A man walks in a bar and the bartender asks, “What’ll you have?” The man answers, “A scotch on the rocks, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says, “That’ll be five dollars.” “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this,” the man replies. A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to ...
He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again ..back and forth… back and forth…in and out… She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back. She was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding…..her ...
Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl said, “I would like to buy this material for my new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk on his face. “That’s fine,” said the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all over his ...
The policeman approaches the driver’s door. “Is there a problem, Officer?” The policeman says, “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?” The driver responds, “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.” “You don’t have one?” The man responds, “I lost it four times for drink driving” The policeman is shocked. “I see. Can I ...
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man picks up with the speakerphone on and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops talking: MAN: “Hello?” WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes.” WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and found ...