Three girls died and were brought to the Gates of Heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter told the girls, “Before entering you must answer this simple question”. “Which is …”, they replied in unison? “Have you been a good girl”, he asked the first girl? “Oh yes”, she said. ...
A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office. The man said to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to ...
Woman: “Do you drink beer?” Man: “Yes.” Woman: “How many beers a day?” Man: “Usually about three” Woman: “How much do you pay per beer?” Man: “Five dollars, which includes a tip.” (This is where it gets scary!) Woman: “And how long have you been drinking?” Man: “About 20 years, I suppose.” Woman: “So a beer costs $5 and you ...
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping cabin on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower. At 1:00 ...
A lion and lioness are sitting in their den, when a monkey climbs up a nearby tree and starts insulting the mighty lion. The lioness starts to get angry and says, “King of the jungle, how dare you allow this puny monkey to insult you? You must punish him.” “You are right, but you know what? I am king of ...
Two farmers, John and Henry, were sitting around talking about their day when John notices a pig with a wooden leg hobbling across the front yard. He turned to his friend and asks, “Henry, why does that pig have a wooden leg?” “Well, John, that pig…,” his eyes mist up, “That pig’s mighty special! A few weeks back a wild ...
A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.” Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.” The farmer said, “Can’t ...
Three Scots and three Irishmen are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Irishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three Scots buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an Irishman. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers a Scot. They all board the train. The Irishmen ...