As he walked up to old lady’s car he noticed there were 3 other elderly folks looking very frightened and rigid. He leaned down to the old lady’s window and noticed she was as calm as could be. “Do you know why I pulled you over, Ma’am?” “No, I do not,” she replied sweetly. “You were going 10mph on the ...
A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast food place. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, ...
“Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she said. A little girl raised her hand “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.” The teacher, knowing how precious some children’s stories could become, asked the little girl to describe the incident. “Well,” she began, “I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got ...
… so she sent him out to Sean’s market to buy escargot and told him not to stop by the pub on the way home. Well, Paddy being Paddy, he decided to pop in for a quick pint anyways. After a few hours, and several more “quick” pints, Paddy decided to leave and head home. He staggered toward the house, ...
… and said to him, “Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.” The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.” The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum ...
You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?” Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot’s story was that he ...
As she was walking through a lovely park, she noticed a sad man sitting on a bench. Next to him, there was a very tiny person playing a tiny piano. The woman got quite curious, and decided to approach and ask what was going on. She said, “Hello, what a cute little musician you’ve got there. Where did you find ...
If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At ...