Unfortunately the bus got cancelled, so he had to call a cab. While sitting in the cab, he noticed that the driver missed a turn in an intersection. The man carefully tapped the driver on his shoulder and said, “Sorry Sir, but…” The driver screamed, “AAAAAAHHHH!” and lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the ...
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. “Which one of you sidewinders stole ...
One is a member of the Gestapo. One is an Imperial Japanese officer. And one is a Fascist Italian Commander. They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they are going to do when they get interrogated. The German says, “My superior German spirit and intelligence will make it impossible for them to break me.” The Japanese says, ...
As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. “Can you tell me the time, please?” asks a jogger. “Yeah, it’s 4:30,” answers the trucker. He falls asleep again, but he is awoken again by another jogger who wants to know the time. “It’s 4:40!” yells the trucker. Deciding to really ...
… the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.” Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute – ...
During their vocabulary session the teacher begins her lesson with the word Contagious. So the teacher asks, “Can anyone use the word contagious in a sentence?” And of course, there is a little girl in the front who raises her hand. “The flu is very contagious.” “Very good, Melissa.” “Can anyone else give us another sentence?” The teacher asks. Another ...
After settling in, she decides to message her friend. “Kate,” she wrote, “I finally moved out of that dingy old office and into a beautiful new one.” Happy to hear this news, Kate orders a bouquet of flowers to send to Jenny’s new location. The next day, a bouquet of flowers shows up at the office with a tag attached ...
… and was disgusted to see a drunk man reading a newspaper sitting across from him. The dishevelled smelly man was wearing a t-shirt with a photo of a naked lady on it and he reeked of alcohol. The drunk stared at the priest for a few minutes and then blurted out, “Father, what causes migraines and kidney stones?” The ...