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What’s more, the pig, expertly manoeuvring the sheep into a pen, has only three legs. “Excuse me,” says the man to the farmer, “But why has that pig only got three legs?” “Let me tell you a bit about that pig,” says the farmer. “That pig not only herds my sheep, he also crows in the morning, milks the cows ...

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, ...

While he is slowly moving through the empty and dark house, he hears a strange voice voice coming from the darkness beyond, that said: “Jesus is watching you!” Surprised, the burglar points his flashlight at the direction of the sound, only to discover that the sound was made by a parrot. Angry, the burglar says: “So you are the little ...

She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them. Her husband suggested, “Why don’t you go pick some of the mushrooms thatare growing wild down by the stream? No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous.” “Well, I see squirrels eating them and they’re OK.” So she picked a bunch and washed, ...

… noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don’t forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream “You might want to write it down,” she said. ...

We need to have fun like everyone else. Well, for example, the other day, Bev my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.We went up to him and I said, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break……?’ He ignored us ...

James was infatuated with her and knew she wasn’t being satisfied by ole crusty. He was caught staring at her longingly more than once and she seemed flattered more than offended so this just reinforced that she was needing something more. One night he dropped them off at a $5,000 a plate dinner and James returned to the mansion. About ...

They decide to meet for tea and discuss their lives. The first older lady starts telling the second about all the wonderful things her husband has done for her over her life. “See this big ol’ ring right here on my finger? My husband bought me that, because he loves me.” Second lady, “Well, isn’t that nice.” First lady, “See ...