A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears; “ You know what? You have been with me all through ...
She got to the pearly gates to find an angel waiting. “What do I have to do to get in?,” she asked. “You just have to spell a word,” the angel replied. “That doesn’t sound bad, what word do I have to spell?” “Love.” Relieved, the woman quickly fired off, “L-O-V-E”. The angel nodded and opened the gate. Many months ...
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan The guard says, “We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing ...
‘Of course child. What may I do for you?’ ‘Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my Mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?’ ‘I would love to help you, dear, ...
… so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and practice a little. Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in his butt! He thinks it’s a little strange, so he pulls it and music starts playing! “… On the road again, just can’t wait to get on the road again…” The guy ...
While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft ex-chairman, introduced myself, and said, “Mr Gates, I wonder if you would do ...
The husband slices his tee shot into the trees. They find the ball resting behind an oak. The man is about to chip out onto the fairway when his wife, standing a few feet behind, stops him. “Honey, from here I can see the flagstick. Why not try to reach the green?” He takes a look, decides to take the ...
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom’s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn’t quit it. The next morning, packing to ...