A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past, looks up and says to the monkey“Hey, what’re you doing?” The monkey replies, “Smoking’ a joint, come up and have some.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they smoke a few joints. After a while, the lizard says his ...
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion,so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; ...
A woman gets cheated by her husband. Devastated, she doesn’t know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there’s a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him. After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk. “I have spent my ...
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his ...
On a warm evening, a man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the cheerful-looking bartender and asks for his favourite premium beer. “Certainly, sir. That’ll be 1 cent.” “One single penny?!” exclaimed the man. The barman replied, “Yes, sir. Just one penny.” As he takes the glass of delicious beer and takes a satisfying gulp, the ...
“Won’t you kiss me, doctor,” asks a beautiful woman. “No, it would be against my code of ethics,” says the doctor. “Please just one kiss,” begs the woman. “It’s completely out of the question,” he goes on. “I shouldn’t even really be having s*x with you.” ...
A wife is running in the park And takes a break to stretch near two men. As she’s stretching, a beautiful woman passes all three of them, and one guy says to the other, “lets go, that’s our pace car,” and they run off. The wife, very perplexed, waits for her husband to come home. She tells him what she ...
One day, two young brothers in Rome, aged 12 and 14, came home with a 20 and 50 euro note. Their mother asked them where they got all that money from. “Well, we were standing outside the brothel when a guy left,” said the 12-year-old. We told him that we knew where he had been, so he asked us not ...