An old couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. “Monday’s the best night when my husband goes out to darts,” she ...
Three old women die and go to heaven. When they reach the gates of heaven St. Peter tells them that they have to answer a question to enter. Then he asks them which one wants to go first. The oldest of the three say I will go first and set an example for the other two. So St Peter asks ...
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. First Bull: “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don’t know where this ...
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having fun. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big di*do on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the ...
A man is in a hotel lobby He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he acciedently bumbs into a woman besides him, and as he does his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite starled. The man turns to her and says, “ma’am if your heart is as ...
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known “happy going marriage”. Editor: “Sir. It’s amazingly unbelievable. How did you make ...
A solicitor’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a beef join. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer answers, “Absolutely.” “Then you ...
A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang ...