A punk rocker with acute appendicitis needs immediate surgery.As the nurse preps the punk rocker, she finds that her pubic hair is dyed green with a tattoo above, reading “Keep off the grass.”After the operation, the punk rocker wakes up to find a small note taped to her belly: “Sorry — had to mow the lawn.” ...
So, one night he took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So, the husband ordered beer and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. “Yuck, that’s TERRIBLE!” she spluttered, “I ...
“Follow me son”, the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people The father added, “First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.” And they did. “Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.” And they ...
The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company. On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself. The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card, So later he could remember how his staff “miss” him. Most people are writing standard phrases like, “Without you, ...
I decided it was best to explain it at a level she would understand so I said, “You just had breakfast?” “Yes.” she replied. “Well, the food goes in your mouth down into your tummy Our body takes all the good stuff it needs from out of the food then what’s left goes down to your bottom and when you ...
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, ...
His mother said she didn’t have enough money to buy him a new bike but suggested that if he wrote to Jesus promising to be a good boy in the future, then maybe Jesus might be willing to get him one. So the boy started writing out a letter ‘Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one year…’ He ...
Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken. When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the manager, “You’ve got to have a room somewhere, or just a bed, I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” ...