A man went to church one Sunday and afterwards he stopped to shake the hands of the preacher.
He said “Preacher, I’ll tell you that was a damned fine sermon, Damned good!”
The preacher said “Thank you sir, but I’d rather you didn’t use that kind of language in the Lords house.
The man said “I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand pounds in the offering plate!”
The preacher said “Five thousand pounds….bloody hell?”