An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees an old farmer sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the old farmer
“G’ day, mind if I talk to your dog?”
Old Farmer: “The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Aussie.”
Ventriloquist: “Hello dog, how’s it going mate?”
Dog (via ventriloquist): “Doin’ all right.”
Old Farmer: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: “Is this villager your owner?” (pointing at the villager)
Dog: “Yep”
Ventriloquist: “How does he treat you?”
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”
Old Farmer: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Old Farmer: “Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either…I think.”
Ventriloquist: “Hey horse, how’s it going?”
Horse: “Cool”
Old Farmer: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: “Is this your owner?” (pointing at the villager)
Horse: “Yep”
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.”
Old Farmer: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”
After a long pause-
Old Farmer: (in a panic) “The sheep’s a f*ckin’ liar.”